God bless my vertebrae, please.

Diagnosa dokter sih Scoliosis Thoracolumbal. Parah, yes? Hmm.
Kata dokter, ini kongenital. Iya, bawaan lahir. Ayah syok sekali pas tau ini bawaan lahir. Aku cuma diem karena awalnya ga percaya juga ini bawaan lahir. Ga mungkin. Ini idiopatik, aku yakin.
Kata dokter, brace ga berguna lagi. Brace cuma buat penderita skoliosis dibawah 17 tahun. Aku sudah tau itu, cuma karena dokter sangat menegaskan kalau ini ga berguna lagi, aku down.
Tapi sudahlah.
Sudah terdiagnosa. Sudah terjadi. Ini skoliosis pada thorax yg sampe setinggi TH 10. Sebagaimana kita tau bahwa tulang vertebrae thoracalis itu ada 12. You know what that means, right.
Mulai besok aku bakal fisioterapi, tiga kali seminggu. Waw. Such a wow. Tiga kali seminggu seems so scare.
Wish me tons of luck ya guys.
I know no one will read this posting, but i don't know. I'm just...trying.

it's today, not tomorrow!

I used to unlike all the kind of vegetables.

But now, all I ate was vegetables and fish. No rice, no meat, no chickens, no junk foods, no soda, no snacks, and no fried things.
Start to eating this since I know, my body isn't good looking anymore for me.
No matter what they say, at least I've tried my best to be better than before haha
Wish me luck on my diet.
This is the 4th day heho
Sorry for my bad english, ofc. Peace out!

Lagi ngadu ceritanya..

Gigi geraham atas yang sebelah kiri lagi tumbuh banget. Sampe bolong dibuatnya. Itu loh, kaya kalo gigi habis dicabut, nah ini versi yg mau tumbuh.
Sakit sekali tau ga.
Buka mulut sakit.
Mau ngunyah makanan sakit.
Ngomong kebanyakan sakit.
Pengen nginep di klinik dokter gigi aja, bisa ga? Hahaha
(Ini ga beneran ketawa, rahangnya sakit.)
Bingung lah mau ngapain lagi, makan aja susah....

Wish me get better soon, aamiin.

2015 start with a pain. For me.

This guy.
He told me he love me.
He asked me if I wanna be his girl.
Yes, I love him too.
He doesn't need my answer, he said that. But that's not fair, right? So I'm trying to understand the situation and condition. In this case, I'm afraid.
Then I give him the answer... "No, I can't.", I said to him.
Why do I still said "No" when actually I don't wanna lose him?

No, it's not a regret if u think so. I just want to share my sadness. So yeah, it's kinda weird because we both are no longer friend, and not yet a couple. Damn right.

K, u know I don't wanna lose u.

dear, no one.

Oh oh, I got one conclusion.
Am still trapped on the same place, no matter how hard I try to let myself out. No matter how loud I cry for this. I'm still have nothing to hold on.
Your smile, it sinks me to the deep dark sea.
Dear no one.

Psychiatric, Matswapati, Dahlan.

Halooooooooo!
Sedang dinas Keperawatan Jiwa di kota Bunga, Magelang.
So haaaaaapppyyy being here. Really out of my expectation about the patient. I swear to you, they are all really really really funny and know how to joke, how to make someone laugh. And their act, oh pleaseeeee, really innocent and like a child. That's what I saw in Wisma Matswapati.
What I saw on UPI? THAT WAS THE REAL PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL hahaha

I have met so many friends here.
The nurse, from Sulawesi Tengah, Medan, NTT, Ambon, omg... They are really awesome and friendly!
And the patient too...
They're really friendly. Pak Jarwo, Aziz, Slamet, Yusaeni, Lukman, Mandon, Sujiman. Aaaaaah they're the best ever!

And also, the boy I know from Restu. He's 20th years old. His name is Dahlan Rizkiono.
I've tried to search him on social media, and the result is.... BIG ZERO.
Thanks to Restu, she was really good had have tell me about him. With a media called.. sketch book.
Weird? Yes way at first.

Before Restu tell me about him, I dunno why, I want to bought a sketch book. Bcs this is a sketch book. And It's price is only for 15k. Yep, that's why I bought that.
Next day, Restu told me that Dahlan is a smart boy alive who can draw so so soooooooooo good. He used his hand at It's best. I know right? He's freaking awesome.
Day by day, I'm really curious to know him more and more. So I decided to let Restu took my sketch book and give it to him. Yes, he want that. I know he need that. He need a media for him to do something. How cool. For me.
With that kind of skill, he also have a really handsome face. He told me that his friends called him like an actor name's Teuku Wisnu from Indonesia. Lol. Hell yes, he's so funny! Even funnier when he act like a brother(for me), so protected. Lovely.
Now, the sketch book is so full of his hand-writing. I love to read all of his story. Sad. Sometimes funny. Sometimes flat.
And now, he's already home. His parents came here to take him out of this place. This psychiatric hospital. Sounds scary, right. But it's not like what's on your mind, I swear. I love being here :)
We keep on contact always, he always text me, and also call me through the phone. Even sometimes all he want to know is only what's up with Restu now. Ehehe. I'm kind of jealous with Restu, but it's okay. At least, Restu already ignore him. Lol
What kind of feeling is this, huh?

Oh well, did I write too much?
I'll upload the photo of his draws later on bcs now I don't have any internet connection except this phone. Huft.
You'll impress, I know.

pain. that's how I feel. sad? yes way.

What have I done, God?
Was it something wrong, God?
I ain't ready with this kind of condition.
I'm not say that I'm desperate. But it makes me feeling sooooooo uncomfortable, You know huuuu
Yes, You know that, God.
So pleasee, just take all this pain away. Away from my body, away from me T_T
(Rd. Badan gatel gatel semua, tiap hari udah mandi air hangat pake sabun bayi, eh masih aja gatel, bentol bentol merah sampe luka, terjadi udah sebulan lebih, haven't visit the doctor yet, huft)

INI GUA CURHAT SAMA SIAPA SIH?!
OH, NO ONE. WELL!
See ya, guys!