distance.

At first, i thought that i could survive this situation, and you are the one who couldn't.
It's been just one day. And now i know, i was wrong.
I am the only one who can't survive. I need you 24/7. I need you to bother me while i'm doing something. I need you to chat me about every single thing in every single time. I need you to focus on me only. I need you there while i'm awake from my sleep. I need you there when i'm visiting the doctor. I miss you, you know. I miss you until it hurts me so.
What are you doing there?  I thought that you wouldn't be this busy. But, once again, baby, i was wrong. You're so busy until i feel so lonely.
I know you're trying to reach me by phone in every single chance you had, but that's not enough for me. I know that was totally wrong, i'm such an egoist, childish, stupid. I have nothing to do here, i'll be the only one who will feel more lonely. But that's just too easy to make you confuse if I tell you this, so..
You know, i'm trying..


I have tried to post this 3 times, and always failed. Is that a sign for me to never post this? Hm?

God bless my vertebrae, please.

Diagnosa dokter sih Scoliosis Thoracolumbal. Parah, yes? Hmm.
Kata dokter, ini kongenital. Iya, bawaan lahir. Ayah syok sekali pas tau ini bawaan lahir. Aku cuma diem karena awalnya ga percaya juga ini bawaan lahir. Ga mungkin. Ini idiopatik, aku yakin.
Kata dokter, brace ga berguna lagi. Brace cuma buat penderita skoliosis dibawah 17 tahun. Aku sudah tau itu, cuma karena dokter sangat menegaskan kalau ini ga berguna lagi, aku down.
Tapi sudahlah.
Sudah terdiagnosa. Sudah terjadi. Ini skoliosis pada thorax yg sampe setinggi TH 10. Sebagaimana kita tau bahwa tulang vertebrae thoracalis itu ada 12. You know what that means, right.
Mulai besok aku bakal fisioterapi, tiga kali seminggu. Waw. Such a wow. Tiga kali seminggu seems so scare.
Wish me tons of luck ya guys.
I know no one will read this posting, but i don't know. I'm just...trying.

it's today, not tomorrow!

I used to unlike all the kind of vegetables.

But now, all I ate was vegetables and fish. No rice, no meat, no chickens, no junk foods, no soda, no snacks, and no fried things.
Start to eating this since I know, my body isn't good looking anymore for me.
No matter what they say, at least I've tried my best to be better than before haha
Wish me luck on my diet.
This is the 4th day heho
Sorry for my bad english, ofc. Peace out!

Lagi ngadu ceritanya..

Gigi geraham atas yang sebelah kiri lagi tumbuh banget. Sampe bolong dibuatnya. Itu loh, kaya kalo gigi habis dicabut, nah ini versi yg mau tumbuh.
Sakit sekali tau ga.
Buka mulut sakit.
Mau ngunyah makanan sakit.
Ngomong kebanyakan sakit.
Pengen nginep di klinik dokter gigi aja, bisa ga? Hahaha
(Ini ga beneran ketawa, rahangnya sakit.)
Bingung lah mau ngapain lagi, makan aja susah....

Wish me get better soon, aamiin.

2015 start with a pain. For me.

This guy.
He told me he love me.
He asked me if I wanna be his girl.
Yes, I love him too.
He doesn't need my answer, he said that. But that's not fair, right? So I'm trying to understand the situation and condition. In this case, I'm afraid.
Then I give him the answer... "No, I can't.", I said to him.
Why do I still said "No" when actually I don't wanna lose him?

No, it's not a regret if u think so. I just want to share my sadness. So yeah, it's kinda weird because we both are no longer friend, and not yet a couple. Damn right.

K, u know I don't wanna lose u.